When will this end?
Note: This post is a continuation of the topics discussed in a previous article titled ‘Feminism, The Red Pill and Islam’. Please click here to read: https://www.atiyahtalks.com/blog/feminism-and-islam
I am writing this not for the purpose of slander, nor because I believe I know everything pertaining to this specific topic, but rather it is a form of me articulating my humble opinions in the hope that it sheds light on the deeply rooted issue of misogyny in our community, and people using religion to justify heinous acts.
“This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed My favor upon you and have approved for you Islām as religion.” [Quran 5:3]
Islam is a perfect religion, Muslims on the other hand are human and thus far from perfect. The issue is not about sinning, for we all do that, rather it is about looking at the magnitude of the sin and the way your actions can harm not only yourself but the lives of others. Allah holds us accountable, but that does not mean the community does not have a right to hold you to account if you are pretending to be someone you are not and are foresaking the rights of others.
It’s important to remember that matters pertaining to the exploitation of women, are very sensitive topics. Another layer of sensitivity is added when actions involve justification through religion. The widespread criticism that often occurs on social media when certain ‘scandals’ arise are usually not out of malicious intent, rather they are to raise awareness on situations that are sadly very common, and to hold the people in question accountable so that they do not continue with their actions. With that being said, Islam teaches us to control our tongues, and there is an etiquette of advising always. It’s important that we do not use divisive and degrading terms, even if the perpetrator in question is doing so - don’t stoop to their level. Do not let their sin be a reason for your sins piling up - and that is a reminder to myself first and foremost.
But I also have to add, the reason why these scandals always lead to such heated discussions on Muslim social media is because this is such a repetitive issue that seems to never be dealt with in the right way. People, dare I say, Muslim men, are rarely ever held accountable for their actions. If a person is misusing their platform by causing harm to others, surely it is not difficult to call them out on it and expect better, especially if they have built that platform based on giving others religious advice. If a system of accountability and justice was used in online spaces, for the sake of protecting each others rights, perhaps such situations would not be so common anymore. Our responses, the responses of so many Muslim women are due to traumatic experiences of the past. And in the most respectful way possible, no matter how much solidarity some Muslim brothers may show, they will never understand what it means to be a Muslim woman who feels unsafe in her faith because of the way the community are wrongfully upholding the principles and values.
The fact of the matter is this, when it comes to some Muslim men and their predatory behaviour and misogynistic views, it is wrongly justified in the name of Islam, and rather than being ridiculed for such views, they are applauded, and even worse, they build their platform off the back of it. When we as a community give these men pedestals, we are suggesting that their opinions are accurate, we are giving them the power that they will then misuse, we are openly proclaiming them to be a face of Islam when they are not and should never be. It is an endless loop of platforming popular individuals that are not qualified to speak on matters of the deen, whilst ignoring the great learned scholars that have spent their entire lives in the service of the deen.
The Islamic organisations, podcasts, mosques, that are in charge of planning such events and spaces should be mindful of who they are actually giving the mic to, and it is our collective responsibility as an ummah to hold them accountable if they are showcasing the wrong people.
When Islam was brought down to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, one of the biggest problems he had to solve in Arabia was discrimination against women. It was a patriarchal society, with women having no status at all. They were treated as objects, prostitution was the norm, and there were no limits on the amount of women men could marry. It was also customary to bury their daughters alive, with many adhering to the social customs in order to keep their ‘honour’.
Islam brought light into the lives of women. With Islam came honour, respect and dignity for Arab women. Under Islamic law, women gained the right to have property, to vote, to be educated and to be given dowry when married. But not only did the situation physically change, the social attitudes did too. Islam teaches us that having daughters is a blessing, that one must respect the rights of women, that women must be treated with kindness. These are the foundations upon which Islam is built upon - the core aspect of respect. A woman is a human created by Allah, not an object that can be owned and sold.
And so it deeply pains me, and every other Muslim woman, when we see Muslims shifting back to such toxic mentalities. This is not Islam. Period.
A message to my sisters:
Do not let the actions of a few, I promise there are only a few, stop you from becoming a better Muslimah. Do not let their sins dictate how you perceive the Most Loving and the Most Kind Lord. And most importantly, do not believe that this is the true Islam, because it’s not Islam in any way, shape or form.
Educate yourself. Learn about your religion so that not only can you protect your rights, but you can stay firm in the truth. Do not rely on podcast men on social media to tell you about your deen, chances are their version is far from the truth. Learn from authentic sources for your own self and for the sake of Allah. If you are ever gas lighted into thinking something is from Islam, you have your own credible knowledge to fall back on. Do not be ignorant because that is what makes you vulnerable.
There are good men out there and they are not the men that will use Islam as a weapon to fulfill their own desires. When we look for a spouse, one of the conditions is that they must have good deen. I know a lot of women may feel ‘put off’ seeing the ‘religious’ Muslim men on social media in the ‘dawah’ scene.This is your kind and firm reminder that we cannot paint everyone with the same brush. Allah has promised that for “good women are for good men, and good men are for good women” [Quran 24:26].
Islam is the only true liberation for women. Living in the West, it’s easy to find other spaces and ideologies which we feel more ‘comfortable’ in, but I believe that this is simply Shaytan taking you away from the fold of Islam. Please do not let such scandals push you away from Islam, because there is no space for such actions in our religion. You will only find true contentment, salvation and honour in Islam.
Do not be afraid to continue speaking your minds. When you see injustice, speak on it. When you are oppressed, or you see another being oppressed, it is your responsibility to speak on it. If the people who are meant to be holding a person accountable, like those around them, fail to do so, then it’s up to the rest of society to take on that responsibility so that one is able to learn from their wrongdoings, repent, and not do it again.
Allah loves you. In the eyes of the Al Mighty, you are His servant, His slave and His Divine Creation. You have been given the beauty of Islam, do not let some scummy little men with deep mental and emotional issues, take that beauty away from you. Allah is your Protector. He SWT has made your rights very clear, and anyone who ever even thinks about taking them away from you is sinful. Find empowerment and validation in Allah and Islam.
We have a lot of shortcomings in the Muslim community, and enough is enough. Truly, how much more will it take for us to learn? If anything, the rise of the red pill mindset and incel culture is taking over Islamic principles, and is causing a great divide in our ummah.
Discord on such issues often result in a ‘Muslim men vs Muslim women’ spectacle, but it should not be that way. We are created as one ummah, and overcoming such toxic ideologies will only be successful if we work together.
I’ve heard Muslim women speak on how such scandals put them off religious Muslim men, and it’s not a nice thing to hear at all. With such things happening, many women are more wary and conscious of the men from their own communities and it should never be like that. No woman wants to look at men from their own religion and culture with disgust, but it’s easy to feel such strong emotions when some of those men are actively doing such acts, and others watch on the sidelines without condemning the behaviour. Staying silent is also you being complicit. Please read that again.
This change can only begin when Muslim men publicly show that they are in solidarity with their Muslim sisters. This change can only begin when Muslim men internalise their duties and responsibilities to Muslim women in a way that is not condescending. This change can only begin when Muslim men realise that they too are victims of the red pill culture, that in fact this culture of misogyny is stripping away their masculinity rather than enhancing it.
I still have so much more to say, but for now I will leave it here.
May Allah forgive me for anything wrong I may have said. May He SWT guide those in the wrong, and May He SWT protect our ummah from such scandals and keep us united.
atiyahtalks