flee to allah conference- reflections
As Muslim women, it is not often we find ourselves in positions to be able to hear live from renowned shuyookh and benefit from their company. So, when the opportunity comes, once in a blue moon, we run to it, in hopes that we will learn more about our deen from respected Ulamaa that our brothers are able to benefit from daily.
The Al Bayaan Institute held their third ‘Flee to Allah’ Conference, which I had the honour of attending alhamdulillah. I have taken away so many important lessons from this event, and I thought I would share them with you all, so we can benefit collectively.
Everything that is mentioned below are the reflections I have made combined with the teachings that the Shuyookh and speakers have preached. It is all a reminder to myself first and foremost. May Allah forgive me for my shortcomings.
ustaadh omar hajaj- da’wah within the home
Ustaadh Omar began by mentioning the difference between giving da’wah at home compared to public da’wah. He rightly stated that it is easier in many ways to give da’wah publicly, in situations where people do not always know much about you. On the other hand, da’wah at home can come with much more hardships because those people know you better than anyone else, they know if you are following what you are preaching. To put it simply, da’wah at home comes with challenges, da’wah in public comes with praise.
When speaking about da’wah in the home, the best example we all have is the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. When people wanted to know about his true character, they did not turn to the companions of the Prophet ﷺ, the ones he used to spend his day teaching, rather they turned to his honorable wives. His wives knew him better than the companions.
Da’wah in the home is more important than da’wah in public, it is our duty to take care of our families first. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ started preaching to his family first, with them being some of the first to accept Islam. We must save ourselves first and foremost from the fire, then our families. As the Prophet ﷺ said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their families.”
Within the home, men and women have their respective duties. It is the duty of Muslim men to be ‘Shepherds’ of their families, meaning they have the responsibility to look after, provide for and protect their homes. Whilst Muslim women have the vital roles of making the house into a home. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would teach his wives that they are the “mother of the believers.” He had such love for his wives that he would not leave his house until they were smiling. The wives of the Prophet ﷺ have had a huge impact on the deen- countless hadith, duas, rules of fiqh and politics as we know them today are due to the efforts of them (may peace be upon them all). The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ leaned on his wives during times of hardship, showing that sometimes, even the strongest of men need the tender love and comfort of a woman. When his wives made a mistake, the Prophet ﷺ overlooked them, never once laying a finger or raising his voice. He ﷺ was the most perfect husband, the most perfect spouse.
Not only was he the perfect example of how one should be in a marriage, but also was the epitome of perfection when it came to his affection towards his daughters and grandchildren. The Prophet ﷺ consulted his daughters before marrying them to his companions, ensuring they had a say in the matter. He had a great amount of love for Fatima رضي الله عنها that during his last few moments, he said to her that his time will come soon, so she cried. But then, he whispered to her “you will be the first to join me”, and so she laughed- with that being a secret between them. As a grandfather, the Prophet ﷺ would take care of Hassan and Hussein رضي الله عنه, showing them love and affection, even if it was not the ‘norm’ in that society. He was the most perfect example of how one should be with their family.
PIECES OF ADVICE:
The Quran must be a strong part of the household- regular tilaawat, joint khatmahs, tafseer etc.
Daily adhkar- creates protection for the family.
Connecting the house to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - the idea that even Allah is always watching, instilling taqwa.
Salah- regular 5 times a day, no excuses.
Sadaqah- reminding your family to always be grateful and to give to the less fortunate, give charity regularly.
Create a good environment- good friends, good community, it helps your children stay safe.
Create good role models- for yourself and for your family.
Importance of quality time- spend time with your family that is lighthearted, going for walks, travelling etc.
Guide your family to things that are fulfilling- this is one of the best forms of sadaqah jaariyah. If you want your wife to be a housewife that’s fine and correct, but ensure that she still has a sense of fulfillment in her life. Ustaadh mentioned something interesting about how women do not always tend to want careers for financial gain, rather they are seeking fulfillment that careers tend to provide. For a lot of women, tending to the home is not enough, so help your wife find a passion that is according to the boundaries of Islam that will help keep her fulfilled and content.
Teach your family to be proud of their identity- it’s okay to be different, to look different. It is the duty of Muslim men especially to protect, encourage and defend their Muslim sisters who tend to be more visibly Muslim.
Ustaadh Jamal abdinasir- good character
Firstly, Ustaadh began by mentioning the current heatwave in the UK and what this must remind us of. He stated that the heat we experience in the dunya is 70x more than the heat of Jahannam. When Jahannam takes a breath out, we experience extreme periods of heat, whilst when Jahannam takes a breathe in, we experience extreme cold in this dunya. سبحان الله.
This level of heat must serve as a reminder of two things: the Day of Qiyaamah, and Jahannam itself. On the Day of Qiyaamah, the sun will be 1 mile on top of us, with people drowning in their sweat. The only shade will be that under Allah’s throne, with only 7 groups of people being able to attain this blessing, those are: A just ruler, A youth who grows up in the worship of Allah, A man whose heart is attached to the mosques, Two people who love one another for the sake of Allah, Someone who resists a direct temptation from the opposite gender, A person who is completely selfless in charity, A person who remembers Allah in private and sheds tears in doing so. May Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى make us from amongst these people, Aameen.
As humans, we love the people who we feel have unconditional ihsan for us. But, if we truly internalise Allah’s ihsan, we will have a sweetness in our hearts. We Muslims must ponder over the nuances in the way Allah has created us. For example, how does the hair on our eyelashes stop growing, but the hair on our heads continues to grow? Or the bottom jaw of our mouth is able to move but the top jaw never does? We may think of these things as small, but if we look at the bigger picture we realise that these are blessings of Allah and the perfect way He has created us. Even if we spent a whole lifetime thanking Allah for the blessings He has bestowed upon us, it still would not be enough gratitude. But, if you want to live a life full of happiness in this dunya, you have to live tasting the sweetness of imaan.
Muslims are bound to be tested and faced with different trails throughout our lives. Allah tests those whom He loves the most. Often it may feel as though we are lonely, but a true Muslim may be alone, but will never be lonely because he has Allah and the sweetness of faith.
No matter what stage of our lives we are in, we must remember Allah. If we remember Allah in times of ease, He سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى will remember us in times of hardships.
ustaadh Musa Abuzaghleh- death
Unfortunatley, Ustaadh Musa was not able to make it to the event, but he shared a video explaining his circumstances, which was that sadly a close friend of his had passed. Ustaadh gave us the reminder that we all needed, that death can come to us at any time. None of us know when Allah will take away our soul. As humans it is in our nature to always plan for the future ahead, but we must also have the awareness that we may not live to see those future plans becoming our reality.
When we return back to our Lord, what will matter will be what we have prepared to meet Allah with, not the plans that we had. We should continously pray that Allah grants us a good death and takes away our souls when we are doing righteousness.
“Indeed the death from which you flee, indeed it will meet you. Then you will be returned to the Knower of the unseen and the witnessed, and He will inform you about what you used to do.” [62:08]
Prince wasim- who is your real brother/sister?
We are all inherited Muslims up until the day we decide to really learn about Allah and our deen from ourselves. The trials that we go through makes one question “who are the real people around me?”
The real people around you are those who in the hardest of times remind you of Allah. Now this does not necessarily mean they are constantly pressuring you by calling our your faults, rather it is the small things they may do that remind you of Allah’s presence. This includes actions such as: saying salaam first, saying Bismillah before eating etc.
The people you surround yourself with are so important. You cannot cure your illness in the same place you caught it- meaning that you cannot stay with people who create bad habits within in. You have to leave the people who do not bring you closer to Allah.
Pick your friends the same way you would pick your spouse- because in essence, it really is that big of a deal.
Every stage of life we grow into requires a different version of ourselves, so it is natural to outgrow things and people. This is even more likely to happen when you are growing into becoming a better Muslim, because you become aware that you have to cut out the people in your life that are hindering your closeness to Allah.
ustaadh abu fatima- emaan
Ustaadh was going to go into depths on emaan on the heart vs emaan on the body, but due to time constraints he just mentioned a short story and what we must take from this.
He mentioned the story of Umar ibn Abdul Aziz and the three conditions he placed in any gathering he held. These conditions were:
Never talk to me about the dunya, it will be a distraction.
Never laugh in my gathering, it will deaden my heart.
Never backbite or slander anyone.
Relating to this, Ustaadh said that we must make these conditions relevant in every gathering we hold, otherwise it will serve against us on the Day of Qiyaamah.
akhi ayman- think beyond yourself
Personally, I feel like Akhi Ayman’s speech mainly catered more to the brothers in the event, speaking about ‘life on the road’ etc, but there were some important reminders that I still took away from his emotional address to us.
He mentioned that as a community, we are neglecting Allah and what is right just to chase the dunya.
One of the things that this deen was built upon was ‘sacrifice’. Sacrificing your happiness for the sake of Allah’s happiness. Yet now, we are prioritsing our happiness in this dunya, neglecting our rights as Muslims, and changing the deen to cater to our needs.
This ummah is failing because we are plagued by jealousy and selfishness. Non Muslims do not need to persecute us anymore, because Muslims are attacking their own. We are only thinking of ourselves and our needs, when as Muslims we are taught to be selfless. As the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “None of you will believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.”
Akhi Ayman continued by mentioning a verse from the Quran that his late mother (may Allah have mercy on her soul) always reminded him of. It is in Surah Yusuf, when Yaqub عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ went through endless trials and yet he said “I only complain of my grief and suffering to Allah.”
The only companion we have in this world is Allah. The only vision we have in this world is the life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. The only comfort we have in this world is the words of Allah- the Quran.
He stated that we must all work on these three relationships in order to find contentment:
Your relationship with Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and all things deen-related.
Your family and the rights they have upon you.
Your relationship with yourself, taking care of your mental health, being disciplined and having a good mindset.
He ended by encouraging us to be good Muslims and be active in our communities so that we can help one another and ‘think beyond ourselves.’ Use Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى to make that change you wish to see in the world.
If you made it to the end, may Allah bless you. I hope you benefited from these reflections as much as I have.
Gatherings such as these truly make me reflect upon how lucky I am to be a Muslim, and may I only grow to become a better one, Aameen.
Until next time,
atiyahtalks x